Did you ever get called into your manager’s office or asked to meet with your nursing instructor? Do you immediately think, “Uh oh. What did I do?” Right away you think you’re in trouble. That despite your attempts to be the best nursing professional you can possibly be, you’ve done something wrong. What do you do then?
If you find yourself in trouble, follow these 3 tips to handle it gracefully:
- ApologizeEven if you’ve done nothing wrong, apologize. When you do this right away, it changes the dynamics of the conversation and preserves the relationship. Most people are expecting others to become defensive and argumentative. Doing the opposite (apologizing) allows the conversation to be about the behavior or situation and not necessarily about you personally.
- “I apologize that my actions have caused…”
- “I apologize that there was miscommunication about this.”
- “I’m sorry that you feel that way.” (My personal favorite when I really know I’ve done nothing wrong.)
- “I’m sorry.”
- Make it rightTell the person that you are committed to making it right. This is a very professional approach to a problem that you may or may not have actually caused. It again, separates the behavior from the person and demonstrates your professionalism as a nurse and commitment to amending the issue.Ask this simple question: “What can I do to make this right?”
- Forgive yourselfThis might be the hardest part for a nursing professional. Many of us ruminate over situations where we’ve either made a mistake or did something we’ve regretted.If you find yourself thinking about it over and over again and feeling bad about it, try to separate yourself from the situation. Acknowledge what you’ve done that may have caused the problem, identify what you would do differently if the same situation presented itself to you in the future, and move on. You are not perfect. Nobody is…well, except for my Dad (according to him).
The 3 Tips, In Practice
So how do they work in real life? Let me share an anecdote:
Several months ago, I worked with somebody to put together a nursing seminar. I had never worked with him before but thought we were on the same page. As soon as he confirmed some basic information, I approved a “Save the Date” postcard that was sent out with the basics: date, time and location.
A few days later I received a voice message from this person that caused me to have a visceral reaction. He was angry about the postcard, said that I caused a lot of aggravation with his team, and wanted to have a meeting about what to do. I listened to this message on a break in the middle of a seminar I was doing in another state. Bad move on my part! I felt a knot in my stomach the rest of the afternoon. I couldn’t imagine what he was so angry about and what I did that was so wrong.
For the rest of the day, I couldn’t help but to ruminate over the message, the fact that I was in trouble, and that somebody was mad at me. He then followed up with an email reiterating the same information he left on my voice mail. Ugh. I was definitely in trouble for not getting his approval on the postcard before it was sent out.
So I replied to his email the next morning, apologized, and asked what I could do to make it right. I still don’t like the feeling of getting in trouble or of somebody being angry with me. However, I at least think I handled it gracefully and professionally.
In retrospect, I should have shown him the postcard before it went out. I can come up with a lot of reasons why I didn’t (I was in a hurry). But really, if I did show it first, it would have saved a lot of frustration. Lessons learned, right? In the end, we worked it out and continue to have a good relationship.