“IT” has happened. No more denying “IT’s” existence to those who knew something was not “right.” Gone, finally, is the inescapable uneasiness present every day on awakening at the realization that, yet again, you must enter a place you no longer recognize and bullying exist in nursing.
Upon arriving at your nursing job, you pass people in the hall, some professional acquaintances over the years, appearing visibly the same but their behavior tells another story. Continuing down the hall, you arrive at the pod (independent office within a larger office), where “IT” all started. Housed here is the desk you were seldom seen at prior to 6:00PM, a phone never idle, and the clinic assistant (handpicked by you from more than fifty applicants) doing what she did often – nothing. (Note: Assistant’s well-orchestrated role in absolving your beloved career, her quick alignment with the “Bully”, even to her own demise, covered more in Part II of this story.)
Adjacent to the pod described above is where your “family at work” resided. Consisting of friends and RN colleagues of many years, bound together by an unshakeable bond based on a mutual respect for your patients, profession and one another, both on and off duty – no questions asked. In sharp, cowardly contrast, using the title – (Nurse) Manager – was a cold, passive individual known to no one prior to her arrival to an atmosphere where such a personality was indeed rarely found. One of her first missions – find out all she could about you. But, why you? Getting along well with others (ask any colleague), was never a concern for you, and you had a great working relationship with your physician for the past ten years. Dedicated, you were never calling in sick in ten years, and finally, you did NOT involve yourself in “gossip”, for you were all about the patient. Period. Sounds familiar? That is the profile of a target of bullying.
Who or what is “IT?”
“IT”, was the reason your beloved nursing career turned sharply into a territory of utter disgust, which has no place in a clinic where life and death decisions occur daily between the patient and his physician. These difficult decisions, though common place in the oncology setting, make no mistake, for these patients, there is no dress rehearsal truly preparing one to hear the words “treatment options have been exhausted.”
Now is the time for the oncology nurse to “shine” for her patient whom a bond is often shared, and it is she, who the physician trusts to assist and many times walks the patient through the initial days after active treatment is discontinued. A difficult time for all, and deserving of respect and space. This special time between the nurse and patient is now threatened and under assault, with the arrival of an experienced force of evil, known as the new (found to be a serial) Bully Nurse Manager. She has designs to re-vamp every aspect of a nurse’s time with her patient. Unbeknown to the Bully and her chief assistant (medical assistant noted above), their actions to “set up” events for the sole purpose of generating negative sentiment intended to depict you as a “struggling” nurse, were in fact no secret to you or your patients. Comments from patients, along with your own observations (medical assistant’s constant note taking, listening and monitoring your calls, deliberately withholding pertinent patient information, etc.), are well documented in each patient’s chart. Immediately forwarded to the physician, and practice administrator (previous nurse manager, long time colleague, and also supervises new (bully) manager), this documentation left little doubt of a very “real” concern for patient outcomes, with an obvious trail leading to the offender and her assistant. The detailed documentation submitted in each medical record reflects long hours worked to get it “right”, for that particular patient, serving, as a remainder nothing in oncology nursing is never routine. As a licensed, registered nurse, each day began and ended with but one goal…serving and protecting the patient.
Frustrated, were those on the offense (Bully Team), as they realized this stubborn one would not tire of protecting her patient. The secret weapon of evil (setting you up to fail), was at work 24/7, trying its best to tear you down with no concern for the welfare of the patient. Thankfully, your faith worked 24/7 too! By the grace of God, as a young nurse whose career quickly became a calling, serving God through serving others. A miracle every day – and you need not look far to see just such in that clinic – the countless cards, tokens of appreciation, letters, families keeping in touch for years, and so on – filled your soul.
Consequences…they were the best part, knowing you made a difference, however small in the life of another, was the fuel to start anew tomorrow. To most nurses, their patient’s needs are priority. No greater gift of employee appreciation exists than that described above. No choice ever for this RN, it was the patient hands down every time. Twenty-eight years of learning, practicing and thriving as a nurse, the center from which all things “began”, and flourished, left you blessed for every life you were a part of.
All was good until someone referred to as a “Nurse Bully (8 years your junior),” took the position of a new Nurse Manager. Right from the start, she presented herself to be everything you are “not”, as she revealed her goals and plans for the clinic, she never mentioned the patient in any conversation, as though the patient was secondary to “her” plans…