Quit taking things personally! So much frustration and stress could be avoided if we could just remember these four powerful words in the midst of many workplace (or personal) encounters.
When someone comments about your work or ideas and you don’t agree with the thought or you feel attacked, it’s common to take it personally. By this I mean, you have a knee-jerk reaction and you add emotion to the comment.
It’s like loading a gun with bullets. You “load” the comment with dangerous ammunition which ultimately ends up hurting you. We’ve all been known to take a comment someone makes like, “I have an idea about how to improve XYZ” and translate it into TIP (“Taking It Personally”) language to “that idea stinks…what were you thinking?” We add our own emotional baggage to the statement and make it worse than it actually is. Sound or feel familiar?
Next time that happens, use the five steps outlined here to SHIFT to less stress, increased energy and remarkable results at work. Next time you feel yourself taking something personally, engage your SHIFT muscles and notice the difference. Here’s a quick example of how it works.
Let’s say a nurse that follows you on the next shift makes a sarcastic comment about you leaving work undone. You pride yourself on your great time management skills and can’t think of a time when you left something for the next shift. No pun intended, but here’s how to SHIFT so that you can get better results.
– S: Stop and take a deep breath: This important first step buys you some time.
– H: Harness harmful knee-jerk reactions: In this case, your first instinct is to lash out and defend yourself. You have “loaded your gun” and you’re ready to fire.
– I: Identify and manage negative emotions: You are feeling defensive and taking this personally. You might resent the comment being made sarcastically.
– F: Find new options: Slow down and take a few minutes to find out what really happened. Choose not to take it personally. Instead, view the comments about what needs to be done and avoid seeing them as a personal attack. After all, the work is really more about the patients than it is about you and your coworker.
– T: Take one positive action: Talk to your coworker and find out what you missed (if you did miss something) and respond accordingly.
When you notice the sensation of Taking It Personally, the real TIP is to slow yourself down and move forward using SHIFT. You’ll be happy you did!