How you talk to yourself plays a large part in your nursing career success. Career expert Lisa Mauri Thomas explains why in this excerpt from her book, Landing Your Perfect Nursing Job (2012), available at Amazon.com.
Everybody talks to themselves, either as inner dialogue or out loud when no one else is around. How you talk to yourself influences how you talk to others. This concept of self-talk is important and directly applicable to how you approach and reflect upon your job search and career development activities.
Therefore, it is essential to assess what you frequently say to yourself about yourself, how, and why. This initial exploration will help you to better understand the ease or difficulty you may find when talking to and networking with others.
To get a better handle on this concept and how it applies to you, grab a pen and paper or jot your ideas in the margins of this book.
Take time to reflect on the following questions:
– What do you say to yourself about what you want in life, for your career?
– What are the most common topics or themes that run through your mind about yourself? Is the tone of those ideas more positive or more negative in nature?
– Are your thoughts elevated by feelings of excitement or diminished by a sense of desperation?
– Do the ideas and tone mirror what others say about you, or are those things at odds with how others perceive you?
– How do you view yourself as a professional nurse?
– What do you claim as strengths or weaknesses?
– How does that compare or contrast with such assessments from others, including your coworkers, supervisors, professors, and patients?
You project whatever it is that you hold within you, wherever and however you go, positively or negatively. This applies to all environments or situations you seek out or find yourself in. The point is this: If you think about yourself in professional and positive terms, you bring that into your job search and career development activities. This is true with unprofessional or negative ideas as well. Wherever you go, there you are.
Here’s an activity you can try doing:
Nurses, what do you like about yourself? List at least five items right off the top of your head. Then list five things that you don’t like. Whatever comes to mind quickly is very telling, as is whether you are able to come up with positives or negatives quicker.
Looking at your lists, what do you see that can serve to enhance or support your career? What are the detractors, and how could they impair or derail your efforts if you let them?
This activity is worth its weight in gold. Although you might experience discomfort with some of the questions or insights gained, you now recognize these aspects of yourself. That is where the true value of this exercise lives and breathes. Self-awareness is a glorious thing and an essential component to success in both career and life.
It is important to acknowledge whether you believe this exercise doesn’t apply to you or if you feel cynical about the activity of self-reflection. If this is you, figure out why. Otherwise, it forms a barrier to your forward progress.
Remember, wherever you go, there you are. You will bring your barriers with you; there is no skirting around them or leaving them behind. Perhaps you have heard the phrase about leaving your baggage at the door. That adage is used to describe issues that translate directly into unprofessional, inappropriate, or unethical behaviors on the job.
While you are unlikely to actively demonstrate unwanted behaviors in your nursing role, how you internalize such baggage comes with you from patient to patient. You may keep a “poker face” in place or “play a role” when working in an attempt to hide or disguise your internal reality. Those who do this don’t fool anyone for long.
In fact, you can probably think of at least one person who tries to do so without success. Are you that person? If so, now is the time to go back and revisit the questions above. The good news is that you are very likely able to push through any discomfort that might arise. By pushing through discomfort, you expand your comfort zone. When you expand your comfort zone, well, that’s when the magic really starts to happen!